Hopelessness

One of my favorite verses in the Word reads better (for me) from the NKJV than the NIV translation, and it is Jeremiah 29:11-13:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”

Were you ever hopeless? Perhaps before Christ was in your heart? Do you remember what it felt like?

I do because it wasn’t very long ago for me. That feeling is still a fresh memory, when I believed that life totally sucked and it was never going to get any better. That’s hopelessness.

Hopelessness is a hallmark of suicidality. When a person gives up hope, they are close to giving up on life. “Where there is no hope, the people perish.” When I think back on those times in my life when I felt hopeless, if I connect with those feelings, I know that I was in the dark depths of despair, looking up from the bottom of the well. I had tried everything, lost everything, had nothing left and especially had no hope.

I realize now that God was at work in my life, and the next step, to get on my knees and look to Him for salvation, was planned all along. Thank God and praise His holy name!

But now, I have to remember that I carry the answer for others in this dying world. Paul said that we are “stewards of the mysteries of God.” I love that. We possess knowledge that people around us need, knowledge that they are desperate for without understanding what that need is.

At the grocery store, at home, at work, even at church, so many people are hopeless. Do you notice it on their faces, their quiet desperation? They need Jesus and the salvation and hope that He gives, and we can show them the way!

Perhaps the challenge is to be Christ-centered, rather than self-centered. When I’m self-centered, I’m thinking about how wonderful is my life in Christ, how much peace and hope I finally have in my soul, and I come across as a kind of Pollyanna. I tend to just have my head in the clouds, so to speak.

I need to maintain my focus on the cross in order to serve others and address their needs for peace and hope and salvation. I have trouble keeping that focus.  Why is that? Doesn’t seem like it should be that hard! What should I be doing, praying before going into the store, or carrying a Bible with me?. . . I honestly don’t know.

When No One’s Looking

A friend of mine is always saying, “We are who we are when no one’s looking.” I think this is a very powerful truism and so I have started saying it to myself quite often.

And boy, do I miss the boat sometimes.

An old acquaintance called me recently, someone who knew me as a smoking, drinking, swearing, partying gay woman. I am no longer those things, I am not that person any more. When a person is overwhelmed by the love of almighty God, you can’t not change.

I stammered about it, I knew this was an opportunity to speak up and testify. All I could think of was to explain that, well, I’m not like that any more.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Here it was, right in front of me. Open invitation, couldn’t have been any easier. And I didn’t know what to say. This is how I blew it off with her: “Well, I’m really kind of a Jesus freak now.” Seriously, that’s what I said, and I am so ashamed of myself.

Because I treated it lightly, so did she, of course, and our conversation abruptly ended. The chance was gone. There was no one else around to witness how badly I handled that, but I imagine Jesus shaking His head and sighing. I’ve got such a long way to go. I sat and cried; another chance, another failure.

What should I have said? People you interact with when you get a perfect opportunity to witness to them, how do you even bring it up?

God’s Help for Addictions

The topic of addictions is so vast, it would be impossible to cover all aspects of it here. But perhaps we could look at it in a way that covers the overall picture.

Addictions can be physiological dependence, such as cigarettes or drugs. But it can actually be any habit, behavior or appetite that controls us, such as sex, gambling, lying, food. We can be addicted to chaos and drama, we can be addicted to people. Anything that controls us, anything that we would lie and deceive to get or keep or engage in can be an addiction.

Oh I know, we all say, “Well, it doesn’t control me!” If we lie to cover it up, it controls us. If we hide it, it controls us. If we refuse to admit it, it has enough of a hold to cause us to deceive ourselves.

I especially like 2 Peter 1:5-9 on this subject, where Peter talks about how we need self-control. But here is the tricky part for me: as long as I am reading my Bible, I’m praying, I’m talking to Jesus, I’m good. I have no problem resisting temptation.

Then I get out into the rest of this world and I find it so hard to resist. I know others who have the same problem; others who live in constant pain and so have become addicted to prescription drugs; others who still smoke, even though they don’t really want to. I know what problems I have just with food addiction, so I have no room to judge.

Surely others have dealt with these kinds of problem, too. Any suggestions? Thank you!

Bible Translations

I was raised on the King James Version Bible, so often passages seem to sound more “right” to me from that translation. But sometimes, the context is too archaic for me to make any sense out of it.

Soon after my encounter with Jesus a couple of years ago, the first thing I did was get a Bible. I picked out the New King James Version, and just started inhaling scriptures; it seemed like I couldn’t get enough. But there was so much I didn’t understand.

Then I bought a book called Understand Your Bible from Adam to Zion by Alister McGrath. This book covered all the passages of the Old and New Testaments, explaining some of the archaic language, the symbols, the contexts of the stories. This was also very helpful in increasing my knowledge.  

But I found myself still hungry. (Perhaps I always will be, and if that keeps me reading and studying, I think that’s ok.) Anyway, I discovered the NIV Study Bible. I kept checking verses in that Bible every time I saw it in the stores, until I became convinced it would be helpful also. So now I use the NIV as well. This version generally adds another layer of meaning for me on the hard-to-understand verses.

Are there strong feelings about certain translations vs. others? Is one supposed to be better than others, or more “authentic” or more “true”?

Convicted: Failing the Calling

Luke 12:47-48 “That servant who knows his master’s will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” [NIV]

Well, I can’t say I don’t know what’s expected. I can’t plead ignorance of what my Lord wants from me here on earth, it is clearly spelled out in the Bible. And I also have to admit that I am one to whom much has been given. I am guilty of being the slacker servant.

Nature itself is a treasure to all of us who love the God who created it; every day I thank Him that I have all the physical senses to experience the natural world around me. I live in a beautiful place, surrounded by fertile fields and mountains. My recent major surgery went quite well, angels were at my bedside, and I am being healed quickly. I have the time and the ability, everything I need, in order to write books. My family and my friends are special and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I am incredibly blessed and rich!

“Much will be demanded . . . much more will be asked.” The Holy Spirit has convicted me on this point: I have failed to live the life God has prepared me for, failed to give what I have to give and instead tend to be stingy and selfish, failed to speak when I was given chances, often failed to do the thing that I knew was the right thing to do.

Forgive me for my sins . . . again today, Lord.

Follow-up on Depression

The comments that were left about depression for Christians were helpful and enlightening, and I thank all who participated. Also, as so often happens, my devotional reading this morning addressed the very same issue. (This happens way too frequently to be anything other than divine.)

One of the books I read daily is My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. This excerpt includes some of his thoughts on depression:

1 Kings 19:5 “Arise and eat.”

The angel did not give Elijah a vision, or explain the Scriptures to him, or do anything remarkable; he told Elijah to do the most ordinary thing, viz., to get up and eat. If we were never depressed we should not be alive; it is the nature of a crystal never to be depressed. A human being is capable of depression, otherwise there would be no capacity for exaltation. . . .

When the Spirit of God comes He does not give us visions, He tells us to do the most ordinary things conceivable. Depression is apt to turn us away from the ordinary commonplace things of God’s creation, but whenever God comes, the inspiration is to do the most natural simple things–the things we would never have imagined God was in, and as we do them we find He is there. . . .

If we do a thing in order to overcome depression, we deepen the depression; but if the Spirit of God makes us feel intuitively that we must do a thing, and we do it, the depression is gone. Immediately [when] we arise and obey, we enter on a higher plane of life.”

Intuitively, I just knew this. “Arise and eat” has always been my answer for depression! Ok, seriously, I love the way God shows care for our physical needs in the Bible, such as when God made Adam and Eve their clothes, and when Jesus cooked breakfast for some of the disciples beside the sea. Caring for such basic primitive things just feels so loving.

Isn’t “Depressed Christian” an Oxymoron?

Seems like the phrase “depressed Christian” should be a contradiction in terms. But I’m quite sure, unfortunately, that it isn’t.

Ask anyone today, Christians included, how they’re doing, and you’re likely to hear things like, “Oh, hanging in there,” and “Eh, could be better.” Christians get depressed too. If you’re a Christian, how is it possible to become depressed?

If God is with us, who can be against us? We have salvation, eternal life, our ticket’s been punched. What can possibly bring us down?

The Bible talks a lot about despair, which I’m thinking is very close to the meaning of the term depression that we use. King David comes immediately to mind. After King David sinned (adultery, murder, etc.) he begged God not to take His Holy Spirit from him and asked that He restore to him “the joy of his salvation.” It just might be that King David, of all people, the writer of most of the Psalms, was depressed!

If King David could get depressed, what chance do I have? How do we prevent it or deal with it? How do we get past it? 

So, DO All Dogs Go To Heaven?

Obviously, we don’t know the answer to this question, at least not yet. But I wonder.

There was a movie some years ago called “What Dreams May Come” in which Robin Williams played a man who died and went to heaven. Besides the wonderful way in which the movie portrays an artist’s canvas coming to life, my favorite scene in that movie is when the Williams character meets up with his precious dog.

First, he hears a bark that he recognizes, and suddenly the dog is running full steam at him, knocks him to the ground and starts playing and licking. Anyone who loves animals can imagine how joyful this would be. (The dog had been euthanized on earth by his family when she reached an advanced age, and now here she was, young and healthy again and so happy to see him!)

It made my heart sing and at the same time it made me cry. I have outlived several wonderful pets, and I still miss them terribly. Murphy, Buster, Butchie and Benson. And now I have Bella and I’ll probably (God willing) outlive her too.

I believe that our animals are a gift to us and they are here for our benefit in one way or another. Once in a while, I hear the discussion of our animals in heaven with us, and you know what? I think that whether or not they have souls, it just might be possible. Why? Because God is God, He can put anything He wants for us in our heavenly mansions. I think the question is, will they interfere with our whole-hearted adoration of Him?

In any case, I’m not ruling this out. I remain hopeful. And sometimes when I thank God for my little Bella, I ask Him to let her meet me there, in my heavenly mansion, if He wills it. Along with all the others I’ve lost along the way.

Jesus and the Blind Man – The Almost Miracle

There is a passage in the Bible that I can’t quite wrap my brain around. It is the recounting in Mark 8 of the healing of the blind man.

Now the Bible says that this blind man was brought to Jesus by others; perhaps he didn’t want to come. Perhaps he had no faith. But he was brought by others and they begged Jesus to touch him.

Jesus took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village. Then He spit on the man’s eyes and asked if he saw anything. The man said that he did, he saw people, looking like trees walking around.

Once more Jesus put His hands on the man’s eyes, and they were opened. Then he could see clearly.

This is the only time Jesus touched someone twice to heal them. I don’t get that. Certainly it had nothing to do with the power of the almighty Jesus, so it must have had to do with the nature of the blind man or perhaps a lack of faith.

But surely, in the course of all the miracles that Jesus performed while He walked on this earth, this wasn’t the first time someone asked for healing but didn’t have 100% faith.

Every verse in the Bible has layers of meaning that become clearer each time I read them. It is a wondrous process that I am constantly thanking God for, but this passage, I admit, confuses me.

I would appreciate any thoughts.

Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy – The Devil’s Work?

I have loved Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy for a long time now. In fact, they are about the only shows on TV during which I will not answer the phone. (Actually, that’s less true now that we have a DVR.)

A friend told me recently, though, that she was surprised that I watch those shows, because, “Everybody’s sleeping with everybody else.” She knows I’m a Christian, and assumed that I should be averse to such shows. This led me to examine my decision to watch these shows.

Desperate Housewives, for those living in a cave the last couple of years, is a show chronicling the lives of neighbors on Wisteria Lane, which is a good replica of life in the suburbs around L.A. Their motives are shallow, and their ethics questionable. Some of the women seem to lack any moral fiber and, yes, behave like sluts. For that matter, there’s a generous serving of men without moral fiber as well.

The show does include sex, though not graphic, and also usually demonstrates every single one of the seven deadly sins in each episode.

Grey’s Anatomy is another show of questionable ethics and weak moral fiber. There’s a lot of sex outside of marriage, and ethical boundaries are sometimes crossed.

Not all characters on these shows are morally bankrupt. Some are, in fact, noble in their struggles against their moral dilemmas. There is not, however, one Christian character in the bunch, as far as I know.

Now I admit, I am addicted to both of these shows, in the sense that I make absolutely every effort to see every new episode.

So, is this what my pastor means my being “conformed to this world” as talked about in Romans 12:2 (“Do not conform . . . to the patterns of this world . . .”)? He talked about being careful what you let into your mind, including music, movies, and TV shows. Does this mean I need to relegate myself to Sesame Street and forego my Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy?